老师，请帮我看一下作文

caiyun

我在看串讲课了，下册还有五篇文章，明天看。

How does science influence your life

Science influences my life in many ways. Firstly, many advanced technologies are developed because of scientific breakthroughs and they bring convenience to my life. I cannot imagine a life without my refrigerator and computer. Secondly, as a university graduate majored in science, I would not be able to land in my current job if I had not studied science for four years. Finally, science encourages me to question the existing ideologies and theoretical frameworks. Without science, I cannot be a rational person with a clear mindset.

Overall, science has influenced my life in various positive ways.

caiyun

What can be done to help seniors with dementia to live a better life.

There are many things we can do to help the elderly who suffer from dementia to live a better life. Firstly, we should spend more time with them. There are many things we can do together, such as reading newspapers or simply talking about what happened during the day. Secondly, if the seniors live in aged care facilities, we can bring robotic pets as gifts to accompany them. Finally, we should encourage them to participate in activities that use their minds often, such as playing cards or doing puzzles. These activities can alleviate their symptoms and help them recover more quickly.

Although there are many ways to help seniors with dementias physically and mentally, we should meet them more often and ensure that they live in dignity.

bwoljiangyun

写的挺清楚。结构层次很清楚。
注意major 应该用现在分词majoring.

bwoljiangyun

caiyun 发表于 2023-10-26 21:59
What can be done to help seniors with dementia to live a better life.

There are many things we can ...

主体段写的很好。但是结论的逻辑有些问题。meet them也是One of the ways to help seniors，所以结论不应该用although....。 你可以说，在那么多方法中，多去探望它们是最重要的...

caiyun

bwoljiangyun 发表于 2023-10-27 20:35
主体段写的很好。但是结论的逻辑有些问题。meet them也是One of the ways to help seniors，所以结论不应 ...

好的，谢谢老师。